It is almost over, she reminded me.
And soon I know I will have to return the sword I borrowed.
I will have to return the memories that made this life beautiful.
And let go of things - of friends and lovers that came my way.

In the legendary lake of course.
In the legendary mists of Avalon.

I want to say that was worth it -
That I learned a lot.
That I have changed the word.
In my little way.

By writing about these obsessions -
These dark and alluring addictions

But I am lost
I feel I am alone again
without friends to comfort me
without my family knowing -
the struggle I have endured.

All for the sake of finding the truth -
The Holy grail.
The Camelot I once dreamed of.
The dark cherub, the Vanessa, I wanted to possess.

So I took one last look
at this piece of metal -
A bit rusty I guess, from all the fighting and the killing.

Only to release it. Gently to the lady of the lake
Hoping she'll find a much better master
Hoping she'll find a more worthier master

than a sad and bitter lover who still dreams of holding his dark cherub one day
in those ice cream castles in the air.

I'm starting to realize my mortality recently. I figured since I only have a few more years to live, I'm going to have a bucket list. And I'm actually encouraging everyone to do the same.

SO here it goes

1. Go to New York City and eat a subway sandwich in the subway.
2. Eat pancake in a bonafide and all American diner.
3. Travel to Paris and see the eiffel tower.
4. Make out and sleep with a print ad model
5. Meet Lea Salonga
6. Start a foundation
7. Start a multi-billion dollar business that is good for the environment
8. Go to Orlando Florida and enjoy universal studios
9. Publish 3 books
10. Meet Oprah
11. Publish a magazine
12. Be with the love of my life in San Francisco
13. Visit the Eternal City of ROME
14. Drive my own car
15. Visit the Our Lady of Lourdes shrine
16. make a hospital dedicated to infectious diseases
17. Sleep in the most comfortable bed in the world
18. Visit Nova Scotia
19. Watch a play in broadway
20. Buy my own condo in New york city


I couldn't think of anything more. Although I have to add later. Thanks for reading guys. By the way, my book is on its way only 350 pesos and the title is chocolate and other addictions available at centralbooks.ph. It's a great buy for the inner stalker in each and everyone of us.