There is no story here. Only angst.
The destruction bought about by Sendong has left me speechless at the cruelty of life.
People are starting to compare us with Haiti. There are decomposing bodies everywhere.

On the other side of the planet, the President is having a party.
Manny Pacquiao just had his boat blessed.
Kris Aquino tells us that even if bad things are happening and many are sad,
Life should go on.
Our own Mayor Emano ordered the cadavers be placed in a dump site meant for garbage.
The big time loggers and the mining industry just celebrated an increase in their profits.

Apparently, there is a disconnect with reality.
Apparently, the book value of a human being is equivalent only to how much he earns or does.


I am not angry at Kris, or the President or Emano. At least not anymore. I mean how can I be?
They have the money to help us. They control the United Nations Relief Goods.

We are after all just another of their charity cases.
A population desperate for food, shelter and dignity.

Things which, as far as I can remember, are inscribed in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights

I am however sad.
Sad because I expected extraordinary things from them.
They were suppose to be extraordinary people.
Like Brangelina and Oprah

They were suppose to see us -
In a vast array of decomposing carcass.

When I listen to politicians discuss about what is wrong with the country, they all have something bad to say against the Philippine government. There is crime, dictatorship, corruption and a whole host of evil deeds, but the worst crime we can do to one another is neither corruption nor greed, it is APATHY.

For a few days now, our house in Macasandig, Cagayan de oro has laid in shambles due to the storm that ravaged our town. Everyone in our family is alive thank GOD and I am grateful that it was only property that was destroyed. Property after all, can be bought back, lives cannot.

There's a flood of emotions that I feel right now. I am angry.
Angry at Mayor Emano for placing those who died in the storm in a garbage dump like they were an eyesore.
Angry at the President for having a party while we suffered.
Angry at the illegal loggers and mining industry who destroyed our sanctuary.
But more importantly,
I am angry at myself for allowing these things to happen.

There is a lesson here. Or so I'd like to think.
You see when people see you suffer and yet pretend to not see you, it is an abomination.

When people see you as another body in a vast statistics is it reprehensible beyond compare, because now, it becomes a crime not against the state or the church but against our common humanity.

Never forget our humanity.

Chocolates and other addictions now available at www.centralbooks.com.ph

It is almost over, she reminded me.
And soon I know I will have to return the sword I borrowed.
I will have to return the memories that made this life beautiful.
And let go of things - of friends and lovers that came my way.

In the legendary lake of course.
In the legendary mists of Avalon.

I want to say that was worth it -
That I learned a lot.
That I have changed the word.
In my little way.

By writing about these obsessions -
These dark and alluring addictions

But I am lost
I feel I am alone again
without friends to comfort me
without my family knowing -
the struggle I have endured.

All for the sake of finding the truth -
The Holy grail.
The Camelot I once dreamed of.
The dark cherub, the Vanessa, I wanted to possess.

So I took one last look
at this piece of metal -
A bit rusty I guess, from all the fighting and the killing.

Only to release it. Gently to the lady of the lake
Hoping she'll find a much better master
Hoping she'll find a more worthier master

than a sad and bitter lover who still dreams of holding his dark cherub one day
in those ice cream castles in the air.

I'm starting to realize my mortality recently. I figured since I only have a few more years to live, I'm going to have a bucket list. And I'm actually encouraging everyone to do the same.

SO here it goes

1. Go to New York City and eat a subway sandwich in the subway.
2. Eat pancake in a bonafide and all American diner.
3. Travel to Paris and see the eiffel tower.
4. Make out and sleep with a print ad model
5. Meet Lea Salonga
6. Start a foundation
7. Start a multi-billion dollar business that is good for the environment
8. Go to Orlando Florida and enjoy universal studios
9. Publish 3 books
10. Meet Oprah
11. Publish a magazine
12. Be with the love of my life in San Francisco
13. Visit the Eternal City of ROME
14. Drive my own car
15. Visit the Our Lady of Lourdes shrine
16. make a hospital dedicated to infectious diseases
17. Sleep in the most comfortable bed in the world
18. Visit Nova Scotia
19. Watch a play in broadway
20. Buy my own condo in New york city


I couldn't think of anything more. Although I have to add later. Thanks for reading guys. By the way, my book is on its way only 350 pesos and the title is chocolate and other addictions available at centralbooks.ph. It's a great buy for the inner stalker in each and everyone of us.