I stood by the bedside staring at her naked body. Trying to remember who she is. What she is. A dark creature. No more no less.
So I tried to kiss her. I wanted to get it over with. Make love to her so that my addiction with her will end. Then again something held me. A voice inside begging me to wait. That patience is a virtue and it is not yet time for us.
So instead of making love, I told her I love her. Like what I tell my other playmates when the night becomes unbearable and they start to see the man behind the mask. I also told her of my obsessions and how they can become twisted and crazy at times.
I was lying of course. For someone who has seen what fire does, I know deep down that love is no more than an addiction. It burns and pretty soon it will loose its meaning. Like obsessions. Like the tingling feeling that rubs you off your flesh. Yes, all addictions given ample time will eventually dissipate. Disappear. Like Cotton candies. Like butterflies in your stomach.

And yet this night was unlike any other night. This dark creature in front of me was different. So I have to offer her something more than vile flesh. For we are bounded together by more than flesh, or love, or friendship or any of those dark imaginings. Bounded together by something old.

And just like that. I remember what it was - the promise I swore a long time ago in Batangas. For with the sea as my witness, I stupidly made an oath to GoD that if he ever gave me the heart of this dark cherub, I will forever be his servant. Once a year, I will spend my time with charity. Whatever that meant for me. I was reckless of course for using an ancient spirit like the ocean to bear witness to my addictions.

It's a good thing it hasn't happened yet. It would have been a binding deal.

So I simply held her hand. Kissed it. And let her hugged me like it was the last night of the world.

I left Laguna knowing that some promises should never have been made. And yet as I was staring at her with the spaghetti and meatballs and the lemon flavored iced tea that night in Hotel Sofitel, I was suddenly scared.

For here in her small gesture, she was already giving me her heart.

In tiny bits and pieces.